I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
