You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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