He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
