Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
