u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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