She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
