problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This house was built for laser tag.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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