i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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