There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
