Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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