i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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