Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
