Don't you send me to vm
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
