you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
