He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
