I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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