The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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