You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
