yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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