im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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