How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
