It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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