dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
