Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
