i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
this is an emotional support booty call
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