i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
