omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
