it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
