is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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