Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
