Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
