garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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