dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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