I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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