You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
