soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
