How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
