Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
