you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
