I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
