Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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