my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just want nice things and good sex
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