im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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