Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
