My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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