these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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