We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
