Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
soo... how was my night?
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