when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
