i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
