Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
