Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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